Thursday, May 19, 2011

Love you but don't want you back

Yesterday's horoscope seemed to hit the nail right on the head.

Basically in a nutshell my horoscope said that an old friend was going to be in contact and the as much as I would like to rekindle the relationship that we once had I needed to remember why the relationship ended and how much stress and sadness the relationship brought to my life.

My old bestie and former college roomie who bailed on me after 4 years of living together to go home to be with "lazy bum I don't have a job" boy toy who is now her boy husband (I guess all works out in the end). And yes, there is still some (ok, maybe a lot) of hostility revolving old bestie.

To be honest, bestie and I were never really friends we just happen to live well together and spend tons of time with each other. I feel like at one point bestie and I were really friends but over time we grew apart. We had a lot of differences. I didn't care for lazby bum boy toy and she didn't care for Hubs. I partied and she liked to stay sober to remind me of my humiliaton in the morning.

One summer we went our seperate ways for the first time since freshman year. She went to teach a youth camp and I stayed for summer classes. That summer I was free to make new friends, find a summer job, and to enjoy my first time at college without bestie. That summer I excelled in all of my classes, lost tons of weight, made great friends, waitressed, and had a great time. This was the real turning point in our friendship.

Bestie and I lived together a year and a half after that summer. Halfway through our Junior year, Bestie moved out one weekend while I was out of town. She didn't call, left no note, and divided up all of our belongings. I came home to a 2 bedroom, 800 square foot ransacked apartment that I would have thought would have been robbed if she hadn't of taken the sofa with her. This was the most disheartening thing her and I had been through.

We didn't speak for months after that weekend. I was pissed and she knew it. Almost a year later we actually talked about that weekend and everything that had led up to her just moving out. Some of it was BS, other parts I'm not sure about. But to be honest our relationship never recovered after that.

We go shopping about once a year together to attempt to reconnect our BFF friendship but after that day of shopping we go back to our every day lives, without each other. I didn't go to her wedding (in my defense, I never received my wedding invite so I never knew I was actually invited) and she was invited to our wedding but she didn't show either (even though she RSVP'd and I talked to her the Wednesday before the wedding to make sure she was coming and could find us, she ended up in the hopsital with "food poisioning". I'm not sure how true that is, she's good about posting WOAH IS ME information on Facebook and food poisioning was never mentioned).

Either way, I haven't spoken to bestie since New Years Eve until I received a text message asking for a website url. Really? No, "Hi, how ya doing?", "Hi, I've missed you". NOTHING!!

So horoscope, you were right yesterday! And I am not going to let bestie pull me down or reenter my life. Things have been so much better since we went our seperate ways and yes I do missing my friend but I don't want you back.


1 comment:

  1. I've been in this sort of situation before, and it is better to just accept things as they are and say "that was then..." and go on.. and I know you have, obviously, but I definitely think that horoscope hit the nail on the head.