Southern Distinctiveness

“To be born a Southern woman is to be made aware of your distinctiveness. And with it, the rules. The expectations. These vary some, but all follow the same basic template, which is, fundamentally, no matter what the circumstance, Southern women make the effort. Which is why even the girls in the trailer parks paint their nails. And why overstressed working moms still bake three dozen homemade cookies for the school fund-raiser. And why you will never see Reese Witherspoon wearing sweatpants. Or Oprah take a nap.”
— Allison Glock, “Southern Women,” Garden and Gun

Things all Southern Women should know

There are other defining attributes, some more quantifiable than others. Southern women know how to bake a funeral casserole and why you should. Southern women know how to make other women feel pretty. Southern women like men and allow them to stay men. Southern women are not afraid to dance. Southern women know you can’t outrun your past, that manners count, and that your mother deserves a phone call every Sunday. Southern women can say more with a cut of their eyes than a whole debate club’s worth of speeches. Southern women know the value of a stiff drink, among other things.

XOXO

Sarah

Southern Women

Southern Women - Gun and Garden could not have said it any better.

To be born a Southern woman is to be made aware of your distinctiveness. And with it, the rules. The expectations. These vary some, but all follow the same basic template, which is, fundamentally, no matter what the circumstance, Southern women make the effort. Which is why even the girls in the trailer parks paint their nails. And why overstressed working moms still bake three dozen homemade cookies for the school fund-raiser. And why you will never see Reese Witherspoon wearing sweatpants. Or Oprah take a nap.

For my mother, being Southern means handwritten thank-you notes, using a rhino horn’s worth of salt in every recipe, and spending a minimum of twenty minutes a day in front of her makeup mirror so she can examine her beauty in “office,” “outdoor,” and “evening” illumination. It also means never leaving the house with wet hair. Not even in the case of fire. Because wet hair is low-rent. It shows you don’t care, and not caring is not something Southern women do, at least when it comes to our hair.

This is less about vanity than self-respect, a crucial distinction often lost on non-Southerners. When a Southern woman fusses over her appearance, it does not reflect insecurity, narcissism, or some arrested form of antifeminism that holds back the sisterhood. Southern women are postfeminism. The whole issue is a nonstarter, seeing as Southern women are smart enough to recognize what works—Spanx, Aqua Net—and wise to the allocation of effort. Why pretend the world is something it isn’t? Better to focus on what you can control (drying your hair) and make the best of what you have. Side note: Southern women do not capitalize on their looks to snag men, though that often results. The reason we Southern women take care of ourselves is because, simply, Southern women are caretakers.

Southern women are willing to give, be it time, hugs, or advice about that layabout down the road. Southern women listen and we talk and we laugh without apology. We are seldom shocked. Not really. Sex in the City may have been revolutionary for the rest of America, but not for Southern women. Of course we bond and adore each other, and talk about all topics savory and otherwise. That’s what being a woman means.

Southern women see no point in the hard way. Life is hard enough. So we add a little sugar to the sour. Which is not to suggest Southern women are disingenuous cream puffs. Quite the opposite. When you are born into a history as loaded as the South’s, when you carry in your bones the incontrovertible knowledge of man’s violence and limitations, daring to stay sweet is about the most radical thing you can do.

Southern women are also a proud lot. In any setting, at home or abroad, Southern women declare themselves. Leading with geography is not something that other ladies do. You do not hear “That’s just how we roll in Napa.” Or “Well, you know what they say about us Wyoming girls…” You may hear “I’m from Jersey,” but that’s more of a threat than a howdy.

XOXO

Sarah

Little Heaven

This weekend Hubs and I are traveling on over to the Firefly Distillery, as in Firefly Vodka, to have our one year pictures taken with the lovely Lindsey Miller (see here: http://lindspics.blogspot.com/)



I am so stinking excited I can not BEGIN to explain it too you. And we could not have chosen a better place to have pictures taken. I mean, really, what describes Hubs and I better than Firefly, bluegrass, corn dogs, and farm animals?

I have yet to see the distillery in person but from the way Lindsey describes it is pure Heaven. Old barns, vineyards, ponds, Oak trees and moss, pigs, cows, and rabbits! It just screams SOUTHERN! And we all know, this little Belle is all Southern.



I ordered this dress from J.Crew which I think will pair perfectly with Hubs' Southern Point Mustard color polo and a paid of jeans with flipflops. Of course, I'll be wearing my pearls and J.Crew silver sandals from my wedding day.



However, if for some reason this dress doesn't work than I'm going to go with my white linen pants and a nice Otter Bay classic t or a ruffeled J.Crew tank. Either way, pearls and my silver J.Crew sandals will be involved.

The best part is Grace and Beau Dog are able to go and be apart of the entire day. It was important to me to have our little family together for our 1 year pictures. There will be many, many more to come and we can't leave anyone out.

I am so excited for this weekend. I can not wait to meet fellow photog, Lindsey. Nor can I wait to visit this amazing little peice of Heaven. Pure Perfection!

XOXO
Sarah

Derby Time

Last year Hubs and I were married on the day of the Kentucky Derby and gave horse shoes as favors in honor of the derby. It was such a lovely day!! For both a horse race and a wedding :)

This year the derby will take place on May 7th and I can not wait to watch the race and wish that I was there. One day, however, Hubs and I will be at the derby.

But until then a good Belle can dream. So I present to you, my dear readers, what I would wear if I was attending the derby. The royal wedding hasn't seen hats yet until they have seen a Kentucky Derby!



I love this simple look with a great pop of color and an amazing hat. Always about the hat.

XOXO

Sarah

How every Southern Gent should live

I prefer the classic elegance of pleated trousers, still occasionally use a handkerchief, consider cigars a gentleman's endeavor, always drink my scotch neat, refuse to believe that chivalry is dead, and believe that virtue and honor is the highest calling.

- Frat Sinatra

Thank you TFM (http://www.totalfratmove.com) for my post today

XOXO

Sarah

From Yankee Boy to Southern Gent

For those who do not know, Hubs is originally from Michigan. And just a few miles outside of Detroit to be exact. When Hubs first moved from Michigan he talked like a Yankee, dressed like a Yankee, and acted like a Yankee. Needless to say, I did not like Hubs very much at all. But over time Hubs and I began to understand each others complete cultural differences. I became the Southern Belle that all of his Yankee friends LOVED and he became the Yankee boy who brought me out of my sheltered ways. I would say that overall, Hubs and I turned out A-OK!!

However, there was one thing that I was unable to change in Hubs. And that was his Yankee ways of dressing. For the longest time Hubs would't leave the house unless he was in baggy gym shorts, jeans 2 sizes 2 big, a ball cap cocked to the side, AND his beloved WHITE SNEAKERS!! It was a HOT mess. And not a very attractive one.

I don't even have a picture of Hubs to share during this time in his life that is how bad it is. Ok so I lied, this is the best picture I could find but even this does not do Yaknee Hubs justice.



It has been a SLOW, and when I say slow I mean 5 years too slow, but I have finally converted Hubs to the Southern Gent ways, in actions and in dress. It started first with turning his hat straight, buying pants that fit, and replacing the hated white sneakers with Nikes and overtime it has progressed to Khakis, Southern Proper, Otter Bay, and Clarks. We even replaced his Dirty Monte (a 1990 Monte Carlo) with a Trail Blazer and replaced his Yankee friends with Fraternity ones. He's now talking about buying a boat and learning to bird hunt. Overall, I would say the change has bee a successful one.

Just this weekend we went shopping and bought a few new items that Hubs picked out on his own will. And was actually excited about them. Please let me share of few of Hubs picks that I think every true Southern Gent needs.

First there is the Southern Proper (http://www.southernproper.com) Beau! This bow tie is featured in the Marlin fish. And matches my formal dress perfectly.



Then there is the OHHHH so soft Southern Tide (http://www.southerntide.com) t-shirt. Which, BTW, if no one has ever purchased one of these babies they are the softest t-shirt ever. This shirt Hubs picked features fishing lures. His step towards moving coastal.



And let's not forget the most perfect polo shirt from Otter Bay. Ladies, if you haven't yet PLEASE check out their ladies fit. It feels like a polo but wears like a t-shirt. HEAVEN!! And they come in amazing colors. (http://www.otterbayco.com)



And last but not least, CLARKS slip on loafers. A full conversion from White Sneakers to Sperry's to Clarks Loafers. This was a proud moment complete with a Horse Bit buckle. (http://www.onlineshoes.com)



I must admit Saturday was a proud moment for me. I love my Southern Gent Hubs!!

XOXO

Sarah

A Real Southern Man

"Every woman wants a man who knows what good sweet tea is, loves to shag to beach music, knows just how much bourbon to add to her coke at football games, goes fishing and drinking with the boys, but he still opens the door for her, says thank you, never walks out of the room without kissing her and calls to say I love you. That's a real southern man."

Thank you Royar over at "Young Southern Prep" (http://youngsouthernprep.blogspot.com) for this wonderful quote.

XOXO

Sarah

Christmas Wish List: Two

Dear Santa,

If I MUST get a new car, can we please go with something like this? I've been such a good Little Southern Belle this year and it would just be the most perfect fit for me!!









Santa, you have to admit this is perfect for me!?

XOXO

Sarah

Hair for a Belle

I have chest length dark brown hair, very think and naturally curly that I pull straight daily with a flat iron. Or I just pull it up into a messy bun on the top of my head, normally wet, and fly out to whatever appointment I have that day. To be honest with you, this is a very convenient but frustrating at the same time. I tend to feel sloppy and lazy and less like the Southern Belle that I am.

This is hair now.




This is the picture I always take into the hair salon with me. Of course it would be of Reese Witherspoon, she is the perfect Southern Belle.



And then I let my hair grow out and when I get frustrated with it like I am now I go back to the salon, same picture in hand and get my hair cut. But I kind of want a change from this cycle of hair.

So I think I want to try a new hair style. Something different from the normal. But at the same time I don't want to go too short either. I'm thinking a good mid-length would be nice.

I love this look of Nichole Richie. It's a good length, with lots of body and will work great with my natural curl.



And I think I might would like this look from Kristin Cavallari, even though I don't care for her as an actress and she is the no-no for all Southern Belles, but it might be better for the summer time.



And as every Southern Belle knows, the full, deep bangs are a must.



So on Saturday I think I might head on over to the hair salon for a nice little trim before our Thanksgiving vacation.

XOXO

Sarah

Southern Seersucker

Look at this beautiful gown. And I can not stress BEAUTIFUL enough. This is pure perfection and if I could go back and get married to Hubs all over again, this would THE dress, hands down and no questions asked.

Pure wedding gown perfection...





The designer of this little Southern Belle perfection is Ian Stuart and I can assure you this will be the next "IT" dress for all Southern Belle's in the future to come.

Oh, Idea! How awesome would it be to have Bride and Groom both dressed in Seersucker? LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!!

XOXO

Sarah

Words speak louder than t-shirts

While doing some research the other night I came across this website: http://www.southernbellestore.com/

Selling this product:



The only thing I have to say about this is; A true Southern Belle doesn't have to wear it on a t-shirt. Her actions, words, and poise should say all anyone needs to know.

Country girls wear shirts that say that they are a "Southern Belle", while true Belles need no words, you just know.

XOXO

Sarah