All things in their own time.
I'm such a mixed bag of emotions right now. I'm sad, hurt, angry, confused, hopefully, at peace, excited, and forgiving all rolled into one.
There was a great conversation that happened this past weekend. I was finally able to speak of my hurt, and my anger, and how everything is effecting me.
I asked a hundred and one questions about the situation and even through I didn't receive answers I am thankful that I was able to get them out of my head and into the open. I feel much better just knowing that my questions and concerns were laid out there. I'm glad I was able to express how I felt about the situation and how disappointed and hurt I was because of it. I was also able to tell just how angry about it I was and that it is NOT ok that it happened but that I can forgive but forgetting may take some time.
I also received comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one hurting in this and that neither of us want an ending result but we're not sure how to move forward with forgiveness and healing. I do know that we cannot do this alone but I'm not sure who to ask for help.
I forgive what happened and I can even forgive the Hell I've been put through the last 2 months but I'm not going to forget so easily. And trust is earned.
There is still a lot to work on and a lot of healing to do, but God is working. And I'm trusting God fully that His will is too be done. God has brought us to this place and He will bring us through, better than we were yesterday.
"I need thee, oh I need thee. Every hour I need thee"